Angelica's Guide to Keeping Sane
by Nitrofrost2
Summary: A side story to my fic A Transfans Wish.  A whole bunch of rules that will keep EVERYONE SANE! You don't need to read the story, but you could...
1. Chapter 1

_**Angelica's Guide to keeping sane**_

_Summary: A side story to A Transfans Wish. A guidline staring my OC. You don't need to read the story, but you could..._

_**A.N.: **__**I know I haven't updated the story this is based on in a while, so here's a little something for my anxious readers...**_

**Rules 1-12**

_Hey, the name's Angelica Peterson, also known as Angelsky Prime. I am a HUGE Transfan and now... because of a certain grumpy old wrench-throwing mech... I need to write this rulebook/guide..._

_(THANKS A LOT RATCH!)_

_(THIS SHOULD BE DEEMED AS CRUELTY TO TRANSFAN'S!)_

**1: Never run around using a fangirl scream whenever you run into a mech..**

(Get's on their nerves..)

(And it gives them a nasty helm-ache..)

(I was staring straight into Ironhide's cannon...)

**2: Always watch your back when hanging out with the twins**

(This goes for either set of them)

(When they decide to annoy Ratchet and you're seen with them...)

(Let's just say I ducked just in time..)

(Poor Skids...)

**3: Do not quote Star Wars**

_Yes, Lord Vader_

(I was doing a job for Ironhide and yup... Called him that..)

_Why you stuck up, scruffy looking, nerf herder!_

(This was me spazzing out at Jolt)

(He still hasn't fixed my laptop yet!)

(Damn mechs...)

_May the force be with you_

(Mmhmm.. I probably shouldn't have done that..)

(It ended up me explaining it for the next three hours...)

(Those mechs sure know how to ditch their work!)

**4: Don't bother me when I am attempting to draw a Transformer!**

(THIS GOES TO EVERYONE!)

(EVEN IF I;M DRAWING A 'CON, DO NOT BUG ME!)

(OR THERE WILL BE NOTHING LEFT OF YOU!)

**5: I know nothing!**

(It's true!)

(No matter how many times I'm interrogated because of something the twins did, I STILL KNOW NOTHING!)

(CAN'T YOU SEE THE TRUTH ON MY FACE?)

**6: Truth or Dare is not the best game to play with the twins and Bee...**

(I ended up having to fill Ironhide's cannon with popcorn kernels while he was recharging..)

(Thankfully, I wasn't caught, but the entire rec. room had been 'popcornized'!)

(I spent the next day laughing my head off in my room)

**7: What's wrong with a spider?**

(Yup, good 'ol Sunny and Sides.. Freaking out over a little arachnid..)

(Well, I guess it's 'cause it was attempting to crawl on them)

(Since they didn't want 'organic mush' on their pedes, I squashed it with my shoe)

(The twins were freaked out and avoided me the entire week)

**8: WHY CAN'T I HAVE AN ENERGON COOKIE?**

_Because you're organic body will burn from it! _

(Damn you Ratchet..)

(I'll get my Energon Cookie.. no matter the cost...)

**9: When Optimus says no, he means no..**

_Could I pleeasse have you pose so I can draw you?_

_No._

_PLEEAASSEE?_

_No._

_PLEASE WITH CHERRIES AND SPRINKLES ON TOP?_

_No._

_Damn you..._

**10: Don't ask how sparklings are 'really' created**

(Almsot everyone glitched exceot for Optimus, Ironhide, and Prowl..)

(That's a three hour speech I'll never forget...)

**11: NO RACES WHATSOEVER!**

(I MEAN EVERYONE!)

(CONTAIN YOUR NEED FOR SPEED AND OKAY THE DAMN WII GAME!)

(SHEESH!)

**12: Never let Galloway near my TF journal**

(It contains questions I wanted answers to about them)

(Galloway fainted while Epps and Lennox laughed their heads off when he did)

(I guess it was funny...)

(I'M NEVER LEAVING MY TF JOURNAL AROUND BY ACCIDENT AGAIN!)


	2. Chapter 2

**Rules 13-24**

**13: When you're tired and can't make it to your own quarters make sure you aren't collapsing to the floor...**

(I almost got squashed by Jolt when this happened!)

(I knew I shouldn't have attempted to stay up all night..)

(Collapsing randomly in the middle of the rec. room from lack of sleep freaks mechs out!)

**14: Don't play the following songs in front of mechs..**

_I Can Transform ya-Chris Brown_

(Optimus finds it creepy the way he was referred to in the song...)

(Gee whiz dude!)

_Sweet Little Bumblebee-Bambi_

(I DEMAND THIS SONG TO BE ALLOWED! EVEN BEE AGREES!)

(JUST BECAUSE IT ANNOYS YOU MECHS DOESN'T MEAN BEE AND I CAN JAM TO IT!)

_Transformers Theme-Black Lab_

(The line where it says Megatron, the 'bots all ready their weapons and look around frantically for said mech)

(IT'S A 'SLAGGIN SONG GUYS!)

**15: Don't let Jazz near my iPod...**

(He played ALL my songs over the intercom at base...)

(Me. Got. In. Trouble.)

(I DIDN'T DO IT RATCHET!)

**16: Don't show the 'bots or 'cons fanfiction...**

(Almost self explanatory...)

(I was reading the one called 'A Slave to Love' by MissCHSparkles..)

(EVERYONE glitched or began calling certain 'cons rapists...)

(I ran around screaming RAPIST! MEGZ'S IS A RAPIST!)

(Yup... That's just me...)

**17: Don't draw pictures of mechs with random OCs of yours...**

(I posted them on Deviantart)

Here's a list of the mechs I drew with a femme OC:

_Ratchet_

_Ironhide_

_Optimus_

_Megatron_

_Skywarp_

_Starscream_

_Bumblebee_

(Let's just say I was chased down by an angry mob of 'cons and 'bots who joined alliances to deal with me... The insane Transfan techno-organic...)

**18: Don't insult mechs with their swear words and/or human...**

_WHY YOU GLITCHING SON OF A MOTHER FRAGGER! YOU BETTER DAMN WELL GIVE ME MY IPOD BACK!_

(Can you guess who took it?)

**19: NEVER STEAL MY IPOD!**

(I go on a rampage when I find my iPod off my dock)

(I found three young mechs in the rec. room, screaming about their eyes being ruined...)

(Oh... I think I know what they saw... TF slash...)

**20: DON'T SHOW SLASH OR YAOI TO MECHS!**

(As funny as it may seem, DON'T DO IT!)

(Some are deeply offended by the content on the pics...)

(The one I have of Megz raping Optimus... Umm... THAT WAS MY FRIEND'S PIC! SHE PUT IT ON MY IPOD!)

**21: Don't even try to explain Earthen holidays to the 'bots**

(Do you know how many of them don't understand in the first ten explanations?)

(All I remember hearing is Ratchet talking about 'slaggin Earth customs...)

(IT'S ALMOST MANDATORY RATCH!)

(AND NO MORE MOCKING SANTA, THE EASTER BUNNY, OR ANY OTHER HOLIDAY RELATED PEOPLE!)

**22: Did you say coffee?**

_COFFEE!_

_No, you don't young lady. That stuff can mess with your processor._

_RATCHET! I CAN'T SURVIVE WITHOUT MY CAFFEINE FILLED COFFEE!_

_That just proves my point..._

_Damn you Ratchet..._

**23: No practicing Karate in the rec. room**

(I knocked over how many things, broke a lot of human things...)

(I also did a nasty roundhouse kick to Galloway's side...)

(He collapsed instantly as I laughed hysterically)

(Even when Ratch had him I the med bay, I could see a slight smirk on his facial plates)

(YES! ANGELICA DOES IT AGAIN!)

**24: Don't watch the following movies with 'bots...**

_Cars_

(They think that their messed up Cybertronians...)

_Real Steel_

(They semi-sentient robots in it confuse them in ways I don't even know!)

(Well, at least I had fun explaining the human version of robotics to them)

Transformers (any of the movies or TV series)

(It creeps the mechs out when or of them dies... Or gets hurt)

(Bumblebee was scarred for life when he saw himself being tortured by S7... I cried)

(Jazz put his face in his servos to hide the pure torture of watching himself getting ripped in half by Megz... Me as him had the same idea except I screamed...)

(All of the mechs yelled angrily when the femme bots died in ROTF... XD)

(Poor Optimus... I cried and cried when he went offline... He looked at me like I actually cares about him, which I did... OMP!)

(Ironhide destroyed the TV when I cried over his death...)

(WE WERE GETTING TO THE GOOD PART!)


End file.
